Eons ago, when books like The Preppie Handbook were in print, there was also successful little book called Love Story that was turned into a movie. The key line that is always repeated from Love story is this: Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

Nice sappy sentiment but I’ve always thought it was exactly the opposite: Love, true love, means saying “I am sorry.” And love, true love, answers, “I forgive you.” It says a lot about how our church thinks of love when in the wedding vows one of the prayers for the couples states: Give them grace when they hurt each other, to recognize and acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other’s forgiveness and yours,’ not if but when. Our Episcopal theology acknowledges that from time to time we do hurt other people, that it is very difficult for us to hear the truth, that on occasion we are wrong, need to own up to it, ask for forgiveness and start anew.

Our reading today from 1st Corinthians is probably one of the most widely quoted passages at weddings. I once looked up a bunch of different wedding sites just to see what kind of materials, what kind of resources were offered. On one site the Corinthian passage had no reference to Corinthians and listed the author as ‘unknown.’

Paul was not writing to people in love with each other. He was calling the church in Corinth to task, reminding them of how they were to treat each other. It was not a passive use of the word love that he gave them. The way of loving that he outlined was not easy… it required humility, vulnerability, resolve, commitment, trust, and a belief in the one who lived out a life of love for others, Christ, the anointed one.

Paul was writing this to the church in Corinth because of their human nature, their persistence in drawing lines and circles that created a world of insiders and outsiders, for living in a way that stepped on others. He was reminding them that to love is to be able to say, “I’m sorry.” And to be forgiven and start anew.

In our Gospel today we are back in last week’s reading where the Spirit is upon Jesus as he read from the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. He spoke of the day of the Lord’s favor, sat down and declared, “Today this Scripture has been revealed in your sight.” At first the people seemed to praise him. We’re not sure if “Isn’t this Joseph’s boy”, is said with awe and respect or with disbelief. But what we do know is that shortly after he talked to them the people get mad at Jesus and try to run him off a cliff.

The year of the Lord’s favor meant a Jubilee year which comes every 50 years. A Jubilee year meant forgiving old debts, restoring property to the previous or rightful owner, taking care of widows and orphans, forgiving even enemies. Jesus made a reference to other stories they would have heard, stories of non-believers, or Gentiles being accepted, taken care of, healed by God, and perhaps their human nature kicked in. What – God loves indiscriminately? Loves those people not just us? They weren’t open to hearing that truth.

Jesus challenged his hearers and challenges us to remember that God has no borders, no boundaries… those often exist only in our own minds and hearts because we have constructed beliefs about others and where God is or isn’t in their lives. We do this to people we don’t know and to those we know well. This serves to keep us from seeing the person who is really there and also, I think, acts as a sort of protection from being hurt.

Perhaps the story of Jesus being driven to the edge by the crowd that day is a story about us, too, because most often, we don't want to hear the truth about ourselves, and we don't want to think that "those other people" could ever be like us, with us, one of us.

Barbara Brown Taylor, in her book, Another Way Home, says that we should expect to be challenged and upset by the truth, by the "people sent to yank our chains and upset our equilibrium so we do not confuse our own ideas about God with God." We don't like "being told that our enemies are God's friends," she writes; "No matter how hard we try, we cannot seem to get God to respect our boundaries. God keeps plowing right through them, inviting us to follow or get out of the way"

When I was at the cathedral in Florida we had a guest speaker one Sunday. His name was Tom Bandy and he and a fellow Methodist minister had written a book called, Sacred Cows make gourmet Burgers. Tom and Bill were the current experts on church growth and change. We were going through a difficult time. There was a new person in charge, and of course some things were changing. A scholar once wrote, ‘the disruption of present ways precedes the construction of God’s new way.’ I think that was what was going on. Like Jeremiah we were being called to deconstruct, tear up and then rebuild but that is not the message we wanted to hear. We as a cathedral were pretty enamored of ourselves…pretty exclusive and country club-like. A woman once complained to me that she didn’t want to see the poor or have to come into contact with them. I said, “Well then we might as well be the adjunct to the Yacht Club.” She blurted out, “That’s exactly what I want.” When I mentioned this in a sermon, someone said, “She (me) made that up.” We have self images and we don’t like to be told that we are something different from what we think we are.

So we didn’t want some outside person coming in to consult with us. Before Bill even arrived someone had put in the question box for him, “When are you leaving?” You know it is hard to deal with anonymous notes. There is no way to address the issue. Now way to ask the writer what was behind the comment.

Bill came to town early, stayed in a hotel by the cathedral, walked around the neighborhood, and checked out the cathedral by asking people where it was. Most people didn’t know who we were or where we were located,even when their place of business was only two blocks away.

Bill had quite a bit to tell us which we did not want to hear. We did not want to hear the truth. Furthermore, we had just spent a lot of money on a youth floor – about $10,000 dollars. It was high tech and really cool. We were on our second youth leader in two years. Bill told us, no matter how much money you spend, no matter how cool your youth room, no matter how many youth leaders you hire, ‘you will never have a good youth program until you have some mature adults who are willing to work with the youth and to share their own faith stories.’ And to this day there is still not a good youth group.

A question for us to ponder is: How are we at St. Gregory’s defined beyond, ‘Oh you’re the A frame on route 212’?

We all like to think we’re open to learning more about each other, that we’re not exclusive but it’s not so easy getting rid of false boundaries and borders.

Back in the 80’s I attended a Christian Ed conference at Shrinemont, an Episcopal Conference Center in Virginia. There were both lay and ordained people there, about 200 of us. The person in charge of Religious education from national church office was our keynoter. He gathered us together and dealt out playing cards to us all. The only instruction he gave was this: tape the card to your forehead with the type of card facing out. You have to picture about 200 people walking about with diamonds, clubs, hearts, and spades taped to their foreheads.

We immediately started asking, “What kind of card am I” to those around us. I found out that I was a diamond. A bunch of us diamonds got together. We got excited – we were casting about for other diamonds,’ Come on over here, be a part of us.’ Other people became like hand in bridge or Canasta. Some guy wandered up to our diamond group. He had a club taped on his forehead. ‘Hey,’ he said, ‘can I join you?” We said, as one, “Nooo – you’re not a diamond.”

Well this little game went on about 20 minutes and then the leader called us back to order. He asked how it went. Our diamond group was all elated. “Oh we found each other and bonded.” Well, let me tell you that the club guy was incensed. I mean he was really angry about being excluded. I don’t think it had crossed our minds that we were ‘excluding him’ – but of course that is exactly what we had done. And this was just a game….wasn’t it?

We are called to look for infinite possibilities of goodness – revealed in others, to look for the image of God, to get rid of our false borders and boundaries.

And the church should be the ideal safe place where all kinds of people can be accepted, express doubts, fears, talk about failures – celebrate accomplishments – be encouraged and supported. It should be a place for growth – a place of love.

Imagine when you look at other people, that each individual has their own special text written on their souls. There is a mystery waiting to be uncovered or explored in each person. When we define people, as we like to do, we put an end to exploration. Oh Jane, she’s the teacher. John, he’s the perpetual scout. We have defined them and don’t have to look any further to find out who they really are, deep down inside. We don’t have to honor the person they were born to be or are trying to get back to.

Perhaps we could try to look at another as ‘thou’ – meaning look at another person as the image of God – to seek out the sacredness of each and every person. Airports and subways are great places to practice looking at faces and imagining the text of another’s soul, looking at the many wonderful and different faces and appreciating the fact that God loves each and every one that we see.

Why did God in Christ come to stand among and with us? He came to remind us that we are to love and be loved. Here’s the problem. We can’t love and be loved if we are not witnessing to love. Every time we put a negative word or action into the atmosphere, every time we set up false boundaries and borders, defining who is in or out, we are pushing that love away.

Most of us don’t set out to do that. We don’t get up in the morning and say well today I think I’ll make life miserable for Tom Jones who works in my office…or I think I’ll make little Jenny Smith who is three feel like she is stupid. But I do think that often we are careless with our words and actions.

This is the time, the moment, the hour, the day, however you want to put it – to decide once and for all – that you are indeed of God – made in God’s image – bearing the goodness of God within you – to look at others as also being of God – to honor the other as being sacred as you are sacred.

Trust always in God. Never, never, lose hope in women and men, in each other. And give your love generously.